Random Anonymous Acts of Kindness

Many of you might have heard the phrase ‘random acts of kindness’. But how many of you have thought of doing random acts of anonymous acts of kindness? These acts which don’t bring you praise, recognition, a feeling of feeling great that others know what you have done etcetera.

My daughter and I had this conversation a while back, where she pointed out to me that I would often share with her some things I had done to help others. Now whilst the intention here was to communicate with my daughter about my daily life (she lives in the USA and I am in RSA), I saw her point. Why was I telling her these details, and why was it so difficult to keep these things quiet? Like the parable, do not let your left hand know what the right hand is doing.

After much soul searching and deep introspection, I realized that it was important for me to tell her, so that she could see that I was a good person, when in truth, she has known this all along, without me having to tell her of these random acts of kindness I was doing. What a difficult habit to break.

I am now able to catch myself when I am about to share something with someone about something I did to help another. I first catch myself, check my intention behind me wanting to tell this to another, and then I make a conscious decision whether I will share it or not. Oftentimes I decide not to share it.

Now, I am not saying that there aren’t times when you should share these random acts of kindness. It can be so contagious if you share a story with someone, and then they feel inspired to do the same, but what is important to note here, is that it is the intention behind sharing these moments with others, that matters.

So I encourage you, next time you do something great for another, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Do it in the privacy of your own life. Do it for no gain whatsoever, which includes, not wanting to get that feel good feeling of helping another, and then sharing this with someone else to feel even better.

Just go out there and be kind to someone.

Brighten their day.

Give them a smile.

Pay for their groceries in the store, if they are in front of you, and you see they are struggling with the money to pay for it. There are so many ways you can do random acts of anonymous kindness too. Leave a letter of love and appreciation in a neighbor’s letter box. Don’t sign your name. Make an extra lunch box to take to work, and then give to someone on route who is in need of a meal. It might be the only meal they get that day.

Remember, everyone has a life story to tell, and you honestly do not know what they are going through. Smiles are external manifestations which could be a mask to hide what is truly going on in someone’s life.

So, always be kind to one another.

No exceptions.

With much love.

Yours in Coffee,

Jenny B.

Be Kind to You

To be truly kind to yourself, to stop that negative self-talk, that self-lambasting, criticism, judgment, belittling – all those things that swirl around in your head that tells you that you are not enough – what a load of bollocks! You ARE enough! You are PERFECT just as you are.

One of the biggest lies that I have seen in this world, is that you will only be happy, successful, beautiful etc., when you have this or that thing. When you drive that car. When you have that mobile phone. When you live in that house/city/country. What an absolute crock of sh*t. NONE of that is true, and, if you do find some happiness, success, beauty in any of those things, trust me, it will be temporal. Things rust. Things get lost. Things fade. But true inner beauty and the knowledge of who you truly are – well THAT is priceless. THAT is the key to your true happiness. Not material things, but the inner beauty at the very core of you.

If only I knew then what I know now. OMG! How many times have I actually said that or heard someone else say that? Far too many.

Advertising, marketing, the media – they all have you in a vice, unless you are aware of this, and can navigate unaffected through their waters of discontent. Now, I am NOT saying that you should not have lovely things! Not at all. What I am saying is that you must not become a slave to the movement of consumerism for the sake of self-gratification and acceptance. Because, you need nothing external to claim your self-worth. You are worthy just as you are.

How kind are you to yourself?

For a very long time I could not see that I was not treating myself kindly. It took my daughter a lot of times having to tell me to stop saying such negative things about myself, to realize what I was doing. I could not see it for myself, because I was living in it. But for someone on the outside, she could hear it loud and clear. And for her I am truly grateful. And yes, this from someone who is in fact, self-aware. However, this was in my blind spot. And I was not being kind to myself.

Now I find myself catching myself more quickly when I think or say something that is harsh about myself. I take a pause and appreciate myself.

Be kind to you.

Take the time to spend time on pampering yourself. Appreciate the small milestones and accomplishments in your life. And when you are tired, rest. When you feel overwhelmed, unplug. Just be silent in the pause. Breathe. Know that you are doing the best that you can do. Love yourself no matter what mistakes you have made. Love yourself no matter what. This world needs people who are self-assured and certain of who they are. You are not your body. You are not your possessions. You are an eternal truth, only here for a short space in time. Let your light, love, happiness and joy spread out to everyone in your area of influence. Speak your truth always, and bless everyone who crosses your path.

Be the person who is a part of the solution to bringing love and healing to this world.

Be kind to yourself, and in so doing, you will teach others how to be kind to themselves.

Life is hard enough, than having you being your own critic. Let the critic go.

You are perfect – JUST AS YOU ARE!

Breaking Through

It has been decades of tumultuous times, that eventually brought me crashing to my knees. I had no more fight left in me. No will to get up in the morning and face another day. I just wanted to lie in bed with the covers over my head, and hope for some form of silence and solitude for the following days and weeks ahead. I knew at some point that I would have to shake this feeling, and become larger than my environment, thoughts and body. I just wanted it not to be that day. I wanted to be left alone. To gather my thoughts. To hide. To stop feeling the pain and suffering.

And yes, the moment did finally arrive when I felt and knew that I had turned the corner of disappear. It took 3+ years.

For some you might wonder why it took just over 3 years, whilst for others, you might still be in this position for many more years than this. It is personal, subjective, and until you are willing to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror, you might never escape that feeling of impending doom and gloom.

I knew something had to change.

Soon.

Time stands still for no-one, and the longer I lingered in my pain and suffering, the less time I had to help others overcome their battles.

One day I knew that pain and suffering served me on no level whatsoever.

You see, I know that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. The teacher can be anyone or anything. You just need an inkling of willingness to see things differently, and then the things you once thought were impossible, suddenly become possible. You experience a small breakthrough here, and another small breakthrough there. Life seems calmer. The sounds of birds chirping at the dawning of the sun, no longer grates you like nails on a blackboard. Instead, you now spend that time outside with the birds, just enjoying what once you thought was your enemy. You are starting to see things differently.

I am an all in kinda gal. I am either fully committed or not committed at all – and you can believe me when I say this – this is NOT always a great thing. Sometimes you need to just have the will to put one foot in front of the next. No rushing. No blindly following yet another ‘guru’. You see, what I have come to know to be true is that we all have our own personal answers within us. We are just too afraid to make a decision, because then we will have no-one to blame for choosing incorrectly for us. How absurd.

We are not here to give our power away.

We are here to learn and grow, love and support, cherish and care for, one another.

Compassion is the cornerstone of any friendship. We are all going through our own experiences, feeling our own way through this world.

It is not for us to judge another and to try and prescribe the one way you know that is the answer to all of life’s questions.

You are here to be discerning. Take in that which resonates with your soul, and keep on moving, loving, growing and knowing.

Breakthroughs do happen – you just have to get to that place when you fall on your knees and acknowledge that you no longer can do this on your own.

And you do not have to. There are a myriad of solutions for you. Find the one that works for you.

Live life with love and laughter in your hearts.

Turn inwards for your guidance and wisdom.

You are everything you ever need to be.

Just step out of your own way and let the guiding light within you start to illuminate your path.

You can do this!

You are NOT alone!