It has been decades of tumultuous times, that eventually brought me crashing to my knees. I had no more fight left in me. No will to get up in the morning and face another day. I just wanted to lie in bed with the covers over my head, and hope for some form of silence and solitude for the following days and weeks ahead. I knew at some point that I would have to shake this feeling, and become larger than my environment, thoughts and body. I just wanted it not to be that day. I wanted to be left alone. To gather my thoughts. To hide. To stop feeling the pain and suffering.
And yes, the moment did finally arrive when I felt and knew that I had turned the corner of disappear. It took 3+ years.
For some you might wonder why it took just over 3 years, whilst for others, you might still be in this position for many more years than this. It is personal, subjective, and until you are willing to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror, you might never escape that feeling of impending doom and gloom.
I knew something had to change.
Time stands still for no-one, and the longer I lingered in my pain and suffering, the less time I had to help others overcome their battles.
One day I knew that pain and suffering served me on no level whatsoever.
You see, I know that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. The teacher can be anyone or anything. You just need an inkling of willingness to see things differently, and then the things you once thought were impossible, suddenly become possible. You experience a small breakthrough here, and another small breakthrough there. Life seems calmer. The sounds of birds chirping at the dawning of the sun, no longer grates you like nails on a blackboard. Instead, you now spend that time outside with the birds, just enjoying what once you thought was your enemy. You are starting to see things differently.
I am an all in kinda gal. I am either fully committed or not committed at all – and you can believe me when I say this – this is NOT always a great thing. Sometimes you need to just have the will to put one foot in front of the next. No rushing. No blindly following yet another ‘guru’. You see, what I have come to know to be true is that we all have our own personal answers within us. We are just too afraid to make a decision, because then we will have no-one to blame for choosing incorrectly for us. How absurd.
We are not here to give our power away.
We are here to learn and grow, love and support, cherish and care for, one another.
Compassion is the cornerstone of any friendship. We are all going through our own experiences, feeling our own way through this world.
It is not for us to judge another and to try and prescribe the one way you know that is the answer to all of life’s questions.
You are here to be discerning. Take in that which resonates with your soul, and keep on moving, loving, growing and knowing.
Breakthroughs do happen – you just have to get to that place when you fall on your knees and acknowledge that you no longer can do this on your own.
And you do not have to. There are a myriad of solutions for you. Find the one that works for you.
Live life with love and laughter in your hearts.
Turn inwards for your guidance and wisdom.
You are everything you ever need to be.
Just step out of your own way and let the guiding light within you start to illuminate your path.
You can do this!
You are NOT alone!