12 Steps to Loving You

Depths of Your Soul

I marvel at the wonders of our souls. I truly do. The depths of emotions we experience are so palpable. Some are excruciatingly painful and others have an ecstatic sense of pleasure all around and through them. The highs and lows. The sorrows and the joy. In each instant we get to choose the experience we are having. It sounds crazy, right? I mean, when we lose a loved one, the pain surges through our very core. The grief is inconsolable. With the birth of our child – the joys are immeasurable. Oh dear, the diversity of the emotional spectrum is quite confusing and difficult to manage.

We all seek equilibrium at some point in our lives.

We don’t want to feel too much pain and we fear feeling too much joy, lest it be snatched from us in the still of the night. So what is the truth? What should we do about all this? How should we approach our emotional wellbeing? Simply with kindness. All our emotions teach us in some way.

Our highs are celebrated by all and our lows are shared by all. The key here is not to give your power away to your emotions. Just notice them, sit with them and watch them as the observer and not the participant. Some people find it helps to see their emotions as clouds in the sky, drifting in and out of our consciousness.

Have you ever gone for a massage only to find that you were amazed at just how tight your muscles in your back, neck and legs really are? We live life in the fast lane; on autopilot. We just live. We are not consciously aware of our state of being. How often do you check in with yourself? Try do this at the very least, 3 times a day:

  1. first thing in the morning when you wake up
  2. in the afternoon – midday
  3. last thing at night when you put your head on your pillow

You will be amazed at how your sleep (dreams or none) can affect you adversely. You need to be aware of this, as this will set the tone for your day. Then we get on with our lives, and come midday, we have experienced a myriad of things, often leaving us feeling stressed out. Just become aware of this, sit silently with it and bring yourself back into a sense of balance of calm and peace – place your hand on your heart and take a few deep breaths in and exhale all the nonsense. In the evening, as you are about to say goodnight to the world, check in with how you are feeling. Let go of grievances that have happened in the day. Release the fear of tomorrow and be thankful for another day given. Center yourself whenever you remember. No stress. As soon as you remember, put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and just center yourself. We lived to see another day.

The depths of our soul is a mystery. Here is a way I dive into my emotional state:

I see myself dive into a deep dark pool of expansive water. It is cool to the touch and soft on my skin. It is a mixture of delight and intrigue. I dive in, I open my eyes and I can breathe underwater. I start exploring. This way and that. What do I see? What do I feel? How strong is the current where I find myself swimming? The deeper I go, the darker it seems. But the light within me lightens the way. I swim around breathing life into stagnant pools. I push myself up to the surface, and I come out of the depths only to find myself dive straight back down again. I swim around noticing what I see, hear and feel. I then go to the surface and float on the surface. I let the currents of life take me gently on my way. I don’t fight the currents of life; I go with the flow. I love exploring the depths of my soul. I enjoy the peace and solitude it brings me. But most of all, I enjoy finding hidden treasure chests in the depths of my soul.

We all have hidden chests of treasures. We have so many wonderful gifts given to us, in the seemingless small and meaningless gestures. But if you look closely, these small and seemingly meaningless gestures actually show us that we are loved by others and that we are not alone. 

If you are too scared to sit in the space of your own emotions, then sit with someone by your side. Take me with you. I will help you be brave and to lose the fear. Swim around. You are okay. Life is okay. You will be okay. Today and tomorrow. For always.

I love you. Always and ever.

I love you.